I just escaped a store with one of the dumbest all-time builds ever. The landing point for the landmark was supposed to be on the floor. However, the parcel was set to dump you under the store. Worse, if you didn’t fly, the only way out was up a ladder and onto a tiny platform, after which you had to walk across a wooden plank. And it’s not as if you wouldn’t want to go under the store. It was cute enough, with tiny red-capped gnomes and some interesting merchandise. But the rest of the store seemed to want exploring as well. Even though flying out of the basement will put the average avi through the roof before they realize anything’s happened. Why? That hole I mentioned is because of the tree in the middle of the floor.

I haven’t cussed out a store owner to myself this thoroughly in nearly two years. I’m so glad I was only there for a hunt. If I’d actually wanted to shop there, I’d have been really steamed. I find the Greenies build easier to navigate at 64m draw distance.

(PS to the ditz at Maitreya – Photographer’s body lights do NOT belong in stores.)

Just for the record, ladies, if all you’re wearing is prim-based, you WILL rez in to someone as being buck naked and hairless except for your shoe form. Just saw such a wonder at a very busy hair store and was considering a fashion police report when her pasties, crotch protector, jewelry and hair finally started coming in.

If this hasn’t been said before, I’ll be highly astonished, but I’m saying it anyway. In the areas I move in, SL behaves a LOT like a giant high school. Especially if you think of high school as depicted in 80’s movies with stars like Molly Ringwald and Christian Slater.

Starting from the upper management down, seeing SL as a high school makes its own sense. We the membership are not privy to the backroom discussions, outside pressures and decision-making processes employed by Linden Labs. We find out after the bulk of the discussion is done. Fortunately, this is where the analogy is at its weakest, as high school principals don’t have to listen to their students. LL has to and sometimes does. This doesn’t prevent people from acting like they can’t get through or see reason, but that’s a human problem.

The real zone in which SL and high school are hard to tell apart is in the social interaction space. Rampant hormones, drama, gossip games, and cliques abound. The irony about the last is that SL is so large, there must be easily a dozen groups who think they own the place and can’t have more than a small piece of it. Think about how often designers that have existed for a few years only get noticed by someone who thinks they are one of the glitterati and then treated like the next big thing when said designer’s been paying their bills with SL since 2006. This also is due to the “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” effect. I think some designers have the keen eye of a naked mole rat at high noon. But said designers sometimes own their own sim and write it off as a business expense on their taxes.

We also have our freaks and weirdos. However, we can’t agree on a universal basis who qualifies for this with the exception of content thieves and pedophiles (and some exist who would defend the thieves). I flirted with the idea of a Second Life parallel to the science fiction fandom hierarchy flow chart, but I realized it’d be a maze of twisty little arrows, all alike. In the elven circles I move in, there’s anti-vampire sentiment. I’ve seen a furry SL member get haughty in a JIRA about how “anthrocentric” the avatar creation process is. Then there is the cavalcade of options presented to the folks at What the Fug?.

The hormones thing? Yeah, in spades with a large dose of fail on the side. Since the overwhelming majority of us are adults running around in what we think of as sexy avs, the desire to boink the av or avs of our choice is going to come up with variations high school only fails to possess because it’s populated with minors. However, that can often be only a matter of degree. The people whose inworld marriages only last two weeks, and they wind up having several of them in the course of a year. The random longtime relationship that could possibly withstand the death of Second Life. Pregnancy being 100% voluntary inworld keeps the parallels from being too close to reality, for which we are all most grateful. The women who use pregnancy as a means of getting attention are quite enough, thanks.

Is it possible for there to be a Big Av On Grid whose name doesn’t end in Linden? Most of us couldn’t name more than five Lindens without including Torley, Philip and M. And since they all count as administration, that’s hardly the same thing. There are the builds many of us get to in the course of time, such as Svarga and the Greenies’ Rezzable sims, but naming the people behind them isn’t easy and they have no real influence on most people’s daily inworld lives. This is where the fact the high school is so large really comes into play. You can’t be famous when there are a large percentage of people in your target market who don’t speak your language. And inworld, there is no shared media experience like television or film to drive anyone to ubiquity of awareness.

SL is, in the end, a hell of a lot of microcultures rubbing up against each other. Changing your group is as easy as dropping out of one space and going to another. Or creating an alt. This is why it feels like high school. In reality, past the small circle of close friends each of us tends to cultivate, what impact does what someone else’s close circle have unless you’re thrown together by circumstance?

The pregnancy and childbirth industries in Second Life keep coming up as a topic on this blog. But considering the depth to which this particular function of First Life matters, it isn’t surprising. I try not to pick on it, though. I am returning to it because of three words on a sign I saw while doing the Scarlet Letter Hunt: Gorean Baby Center.

Yes, my loyal reader, there are Goreans who put themselves through pregnancy and childbirth. Let’s keep in mind that in SL, pregnancy is a 100% conscious choice that must be maintained with real thought or else it fades into your inventory like last month’s clothes. What I want to know is if the folks who do this have thought their bright idea through completely.

The crux of the matter is this: do Gorean babies stay prim babies, or do they end up RPed by an adult as they get past the toddler stage? Think that one over slowly. Child avs in a space devoted to a culture whose primary visible purpose is the reification of slavery and sexual gratification. Whatever other trappings may exist, that is the core of it.

I have no idea how Norman discussed child-raising on Gor. I don’t care to look it up, either. It doesn’t matter to the biggest issue I have with it all. The presence of child avs in a mature-to-adult sim devoted to explicit sexual conduct is the surest ticket to getting your access rights suspended I can think of. Do they even realize this? They can’t claim that the kid isn’t exposed to it. It’s Gor. It’s the cultural norm. In First Life, kids find out their parents have sex. In Gorean realms, all else being equal, the kid’s exposure to the notion might be seeing Daddy whipping Mommy while she’s tied to a hitching post before taking her from behind.

SL is on a “make sure content matches the sim ratings tag” kick. How is having children running around a sim that ought to be tagged Adult going to look as they check to make sure private sims are rated appropriately?

I wish I could just have fun with this topic. I have giggled to myself and others about “baby’s first silks” and camisk onesies. I’ve had internal theorization parties about child-rearing in a male-dominated society and what the age of consent would be in Gor. But the real problem is the child av risk. The people who want to become The Breeders of Gor can’t possibly realize what they’re letting their precious realms in for. Being privately owned means nothing.

The concept of reality inworld keeps cropping up. Whether it’s photorealistic skins, “normal-height” avatars, or rituals such as pregnancy and child-rearing, attempts to clone the physical realm into SL are frequent. Some are even enforced at times, such as one club I went to whose rules stated you were at risk of ejection if your av was too large.

I’ve spoken my piece on the height and pregnancy issues before. The photorealistic skins are actually a good sign SL is developing graphically. Some of them are dead gorgeous, too. But I admit I often favor ones that are detailed without being picture-perfect. But that’s something of a tangent.

The one thing that is real inworld is that we bring ourselves in with us. Unless you are so good at mental compartmentalizing that you are capable of creating an entirely separate personality inworld, you are being who you are, no matter what. Maybe you’re acting or roleplaying, but as a former actress and tabletop gamer, you’re drawing from yourself in both situations. It is that reality as well as how people forget that which causes drama.

I find more and more that I prefer the company of those who recognize that there is no clear line between their second and first lives. They respect the fact there are people behind the av. They don’t play games within the game unless it’s clearly an RPG. And best of all, they don’t play games with themselves. The people who think it’s all a game and nobody should take it seriously probably don’t take their first lives seriously, either.

So, first, be real with yourself. Then respect others. That is the realism we need inworld most of all. The rest is self-expression and art.

No bones about it, I have sex inworld. I won’t say how often or with whom, and even if you look up my profile, the picks will not tell you as much as you think they will. What I will say is that I favor skin designers that remember to pay attention to smaller anatomical details in a way I appreciate. I also shop for furniture with dating in mind.

I’ve been flirting with the idea of picking up the Kama Sutra HUD from Akaesha Designs for some time now. It’s not cheap; even their discount on XstreetSL is $3750L. It’d be a luxury item considering I have two useful locations all to myself equipped with decent furniture, some of which is from Akaesha already. But the flexibility it’d provide would be fun to play with sometimes.

What’s goaded me to write are some of the comments people have left behind about the HUD. I speak of the people who would prefer they issue a monogamous couple version and leave out the animations said couples won’t need. It’s kind of petty of me, probably, but I found that complaint annoying on several levels. First, it operates from the assumption that editing the scripts to get all the non-hetero (trust me, all the whiners were straight) and multi-partner animations removed would be easy. What I have seen of commentary on the HUD tells me this is not the case. I also know just enough about scripting and programming to realize that feature removal can be harder than feature enhancement. It also smacks of a desire to forget the rest of the world exists. Sorry, Joe and Jane Q Virtual, but there are kinky and slutty people inworld. Even your precious “long-term monogamous couple” HUD could be used by us, as we don’t always party in groups. Hell, I personally have yet to do more than two-person sex. I envy those who’ve figured out how to go beyond that inworld without conflicting typing or voice work.

The “don’t make me have to deal with the resources” argument the monogamous HUD-owners want is nearly understandable, but frankly, if they can’t enjoy cybering without a complex device, they ought to respect the makers’ privilege of making it for the largest possible market. They spent days’ worth of time getting that to work, and increasing development time to make a monogamous version would make the item hideously expensive instead of merely high. Speaking as someone who has had outrageously hot sex while dancing fully clothed inworld, they really don’t need a gadget to do it right. Unless they can’t write. At which point, why are they on SL again?

LysanaGoesGlitter_001

Originally uploaded by lysana.mcmillan

There’s a war raging in Second Life. The battle is between the pro-and anti-unicorn sex fronts. I say, let the unicorns frolic! They need room to breed, and the results are so cute they’ll scare the griefers off for months. It’s win-win, really. Also, unicorns make great newbie detectors so long as said n00bs weren’t accosted on Help Island for some freenis-enabled nookie. Which means we’d find the cream of the crop that much faster. Any newbie who says no to freenis is a person with taste and discretion.

To put my avi where my mouth is, I assembled this little ensemble, mostly thanks to the freebies at the Lloyd sim.

Represented Warriors:
Schadenfreude: More Glitter T-Shirt
Sock Shop: Glitter Unicorn Sex Socks
Lazy Places: Hya Cloven Boots in Starlite (NOT FREE)
Silent Sparrow: Sparkle Sparkle Wings
All of the above are available at the Starlust Motel Freebie Shop

Offsite Ally:
Alien Underground: Pastel Skin C2
Unreleased skin by Helena Stringer (I got a giftie!)

Neutral Parties:
Simple Pleasures: Watermelon Tourmaline Unicorn Horn (no longer on grid)
Calico Ingmann: Mania hair in Cotton Candy (assumed sympathetic to Hya but has no presence on Lloyd)
DV8: Aura Skirt in Magenta
Shapes by Zada: EyeFidelity IdealEyes in Pale Hazel
Striking Poses: Drama Queen Pose 4: Betty Grable

I have spent the past week battling both a sinus infection and one of those “viruses that’s going around” that decided my lungs were a peachy place to set up housekeeping. This has given me loads more time to spend inworld than I usually have. It has also led to my making the acquaintance of one Mikalis Karas, who appears to be another in the odd world of SL bloggers who don’t focus on fashion so much as the SLife-as-we-see-it approach. I thought I was going to do a fashion blog here, but I’m more of a writer than a photographer. If nothing else, it’s good to see I’m not the only one. And we share a love of playing with words, which makes chatting fun. I opined to him the other day that while most of us are “hot” for sufficient definitions of same in SL, I’m regularly reminded that I am a Jane Russell in a sea of Reese Witherspoons and Victoria Beckhams. One of the ironies of looking like her inworld body-wise is that the designers who do clothing from her top period are designing for Reese and Victoria. I’m not suffering for clothes. I’m just underimpressed with how the “vintage” designers look on me. They look great otherwise.

I’ve also acquired a new habit, which led to my meeting Mikalis. Midnight Mania board trawling. It’s a sickness, really. Click a board, beg other people to do the same, and get a freebie at midnight. My inventory’s exploding in a way hunting hasn’t accomplished. Which means I’m probably going to stop paying attention to the group chat closer to midnight. Eventually. At least on weekdays.

The hunt front’s been its own insanity. I’m working my way through the Go Fly a Kite hunt a few at a time, and I’m glad I have the time to do it that way. I’m loving the HUD JustOneMore Loon put together for it and was sad to find out people were being such twits that he found it necessary to stop selling it. The HUD has reduced my need to go clue-begging. Interacting in a group chat’s fun, but sometimes I like to hunt by myself. No chat, just me and the target of my quest. Or else I can chat one-on-one with some of my inworld friends while hunting, giving me focused interaction instead of splayed group chat. I’m looking at the new gridwide that just started and twitching at the thought. I need to swear off the gridwides. Greatest Love to Twisted to GFAK with the FallnAngel multisim hunt wedged within those is too much hopping and too little anything else.

I am going to try to spend more time focusing on the entertainment side of SL. Like last night, when I went to the Drunken Drow in Elvenshire and spent time dancing with a handsome half-elven gent while listening to some sweet live acts. Granted, I also DJ there and said half-elf is my boss, but there are perks to that job you don’t get in First Life. Going back to check out the entertainment on my nights off isn’t like a busman’s holiday. And dancing with the boss isn’t what you’d call violating proper workplace protocols. Or I’ll go fishing. Mellow, can keep up on group chats that aren’t clue-begging parades, and I can chuck the fish afterward. And I have enough outfits in my inventory to last me a couple of months assuming I change twice a day.

Sure, I’ll still shop. But wouldn’t you?

I love a good plus-sized avi. Curves, wideness, and all. If I need to make it clearer, let me know and I will.

But for the love of humanity, will people STOP making the damned wide-load avs with saddlebags set to 100 and waists set to 20? To a one, these biznatches think it’s fair to then dress in shorts and as much bling as they can find. And I also find they tend to frequent one of the hair designers who really needs to get the frak off the grid and stop making people’s heads look bad. Worse, some of them do modeling or dance in clubs. WTF is it, some kind of rampant black booty joke gone horribly wrong? Even with the white chicks who do this, because they all seem to run around with some proof they think they’re gangstas.

I’m going to say it. I think those avs are a bigot’s idea of a wet dream. And I mean the bigotry of exoticizing the Other. “Ooh, black chicks have big butts, so I want a fantasy babe with the biggest ass possible, but she has to be blonde so I don’t look like I’m objectifying black chicks!” Barf-o-rama.

I saw three such sad sacks tonight. It was like someone opened the gates on the fugly reserve.

I just made this comment on Shopping Cart Disco’s latest SLSecret installment, but since it ties in to other things I’ve said here before, I’m repeating myself:

I now have this idle fantasy that someone someday will do a pregnancy simulator that includes an AO to make you waddle worse than a newbie, slow your base speed down, restrict you from running, and give you damage in enabled sims for pushing it too far. Never in reality will you see women within days of giving birth who walk like runway models.

Get to it, someone, please. I will only take these women seriously if they use something like this. Throw in a post-pregnancy AO that forces random emotional reactions and keeps you moving at 3/4 speed for the next week as well as private whispers about how much the wearer’s breasts hurt, and I will kiss your pixellated ass like it was a golden idol.